(no subject)
well i've been waiting to go up to the school with Patrice since 12. . . . i don't think that we're going

the entire opening is writen and put down onto paper. . . there of corse are little tweeks, but nothings perfect. . . people seem to be liking it.   still have a lot more to do

You need to watch

"Wierd how you go through a whole year and nothing hardly seems to change at all, but then you _look back_ a year later and realize everthing is completely different."

                                                                                                                            - Patrice's away message-

Here is my comment to that saying. . . first of all, whose fault is it that everything changed? Take my "friendship"  with Pam.  We both wanted to do a show, she got her way, and is doing one.  There was a falling out, and now we don't even talk.  It's no ones fault, but stuff happens.  I think everyone tries to blame others for their observations.  Personally, there is a lot of things that have been said to me this summer and i'm just like, " yea, uh huh."  then i'm just like "yea no". . . and i've noticed that it has pretty much been directed to one person in particular.  I'l apologize now before you get any more "bitter" at me then you already are.  

Yum . . . FRESH

                  This is just for Nikki and Bridget to enjoy!

anyway . . .

I'm really starting to think that i really should've done football this year. . . . .  . who know's people probably don't think that i can do that either.  it's time to start telling the truth.  That is, before time starts running out!

303 days 10 hours 4minutes and 20seconds . . . clock is ticking, the choice is yours

(no subject)
can't sleep now.  And now there's nothing to do.

Remember When I Could...
 - Have an amazing time with my friends.....without having to be the "baby" of the group!

 - Live my life that i choose, instead of the life that my parents choose for me.

 - i'm leaving for college in a year and may very well not want to come back for a long time. 

Othere than having to be the 17 yr old boy with the 10:00 curfew, tonight was awesome.  Game night at Chris' with Court Mum, Bridget, Patrice, Kelly, Dave, Elise, and myself.  Lotz of fun.  Then curfew and i'm home now.  

Today was interesting.  I set a goal for my report card next year, which i really am going to try for.  I called my brother (purposely) lol and talked to him about stuff.  Basically i'm glad he's comming up, and then now just fighting with mom.....I'm just trying to be a 17yr old kid....not a 3 yr old baby

"god Mary pass the coke i'm parched"

(no subject)
well senior week starts wednesday.  I'm ready for a week of fun.  Work started today, and it was awesome.  I've been happy lately, and it feels great.

i'm srry if it looked like i was in a bad mood, i wasn't,  i didn't know that you saw me.  i thought you just didn't know i was there.

Good-bye seniors
OK....first off, i guess my brother is a better person.  (Ok i've had a bad day)  I talked to people, and i didn't talk to people.....it's not like it really mattered.  i'm just a bad person sometimes.  I told someone that i'd call them today...i didnt'.  I'm srry.  I'll get around to it.....i guess.   I got my job for the summer today......i'm also quitting one of the churches today.  I wish for so much to change.....no i take that back.....i want to change. 

In other news....senior week is in less than two weeks....I"m pumped.  Seriously i can't wait to get away from everything and just relax.  I'm looking forward to it.  It should be a lot of fun.  Maybe i'd feel better if they actually wanted me to go and not just because they needed me to go.  whatever i'm still going and i'm still gonna have a great time.
i think that i'm going to start to read 1984 again... I started reading it, but then i put it down because it got way to confusing, but that could be because i'm illiterate and a retard.  

And in other news....today was the seniors last day at Archbisop Ryan.  Let me guess some of you hate me for saying it, and some of you are happy.  Well let me just quote a piece of writing from my year book....."this will be the last time that i see you ....EVER"  just thought that i'd share that with you guys, just in case it is.  Honestly i'm going to miss all of you from the bottom of my heart.  You all have touched (keep it clean) me in so many ways that i'm greatful for, and i can't thank you enought.

(this time last year......well it's diferent now anyway)

here's a secret message.  I care about a lot of people, and it's killing me to let some of them go.  I remember when i was in love, or in a relationship, how i let myself be destroyed.  Well someone told  me today that once you fall in love, you're voulnerable to get hurt again and again....there's no controlling it.  I think that he is right.  Personally .....i know he is right.  And i know that it's going to hurt at the end of summer!  one more thing.....i love you more than words can say.  I still love you!  Always and forever.  Good-bye class of '06...you'll be fine.  You always are.

Days in NYC and walks on the beach
This weekend was amazing! Lets start off with the end of last week...well Friday. Friday night we had a party for Chris, and it was a lot of fun. It was a whole bunch of running around before hand, but it was all worth it. Cece came over earlier that day and helped me decorate and stuff like that. Then the party started round 8ish. A lotta ppl were there and i think that he had a great time, so thanks to everyone that helped and was there.

Saturday.....AWESOME! I took Chris to NYC to see Phantom on Broadway. It was really really good. We got there like 10:30 ish, ate breakfast, walked for a lil bit and then saw the show. After the show we ran to the train station and caught the 5:01 train home. That was a good day.

Sunday. Still running around. Went to the shore, got a little burnt, i made a few ppl angry which i'm srry for, and yes it was my fault cause i did take it out on my friends. Took a long walk on the beach with Bridget, and ran into a few other ppl we knew that were down there. Lotz of fun.

Monday - my parents are comming home....that's it. I'm not allowed out bc they're comming home and that's it.

labeled...Where are you going?

Senior prom was amazing, even though I had a difficult time, but all in all everything was amazing.  I saw everyone that I wanted to, and even though I didn't get to ask them, I am positive that they had an awesome time.  There were moments that I was upset, I'm not gonna lie, but more scared.  I tried to tell Bridget, but everytime that I saw her, I couldn't.  There were just so many things that were running through my mind.....stuff that I shouldn't have been worring about at senior.  So after prom, I went home, becasuse .... I had nothing else to do.  That was my night.

 That was a poem my mom sent me because she knows that I'm putting MYSELF through hell.  Everyone knows my answer...."I"m fine," and until my mom said, "Robert, everything doesn't always have to be fine," everything would've been.  The reason everything was always fine, was because of my fear of letting someone know who I am.  That's been a problem that I've been trying to get over for a while.  But I have gained two fears from thinking like that...being alone.....everyone saying," I told you so, and I knew it."

Last night something occured to me, and I will say that Should've seen it comming.  I gone through hard times this past year.....espically one year ago from this time, but did I do that to myself?  There were certain looks that I got last night that I thought, was it meant to be like that, or am I just thinking that way.  

Sorry to cut it short, but i'm spendng Prom weekend with my grandma, and she just got here.....so to be continued at another time. 

Fuck Beauty and the Beast!
hummm....well since i haven't said anything for a while, i'm just gonna start with what i remember....yesterday!

OK......well wednesday night i left for Meadville with Chris and his dad.  They were going to see Alleghney, and i was going to see the school and to have lunch with my grandmother because she just got outta the hospital.  ok....then    can you say DRAMA?...  seriously!  i'm on my way to lunch, and i get a calle from Jo - Fro, "Stoop, Molnar wants to know if you're comming to practice today?"  "No Joe, i told him two days ago that i wouldn't be in town and that i'd be upstate."  "ok."  ......2 minutes later....dun dun dun...KIM WILLIAMS (yea.....you know that woman that everyone, that hasn't been screwed over, loves!)  anyway she said that it's important that i give them a call immediately ......psht yea right!  So then Bridget called me and said that everyone jumped on her cause they knew that i'd answer for her....they were all right.  I asked her to give the phone to Molnar, but ...and i quote "I DON"T WANT TO TALK TO HIM......give the phone to GENE."  so then i get on the phone with Mr.C ....."Rob this is unacceptable, and i just want to let you know that this will not be forgotten.  (Personally don't give a FUCK at this point) - just a fyi  ...so then after i told him that i told molnar, i finially got on the phone with .....OMG the director of our "wonderful" production.   "You never told me that"  ----- finally the conversation was over.  Now had i known that Chris REMINDED them that he wasn't gonna be there.....maybe they would've remembered that i wasn't gonna be there too.....but it's ok i don't expect anyone to take "my side".  I know how wonderful Molnar is to everyone else.  

Needless to say.....my lunch with my grandma....was horrible.  And the sadder thing is......they didnt' care that i was there with her, not when i told them i was going, not when i told them that i was with her....NOT AT ALL!  .. then don't even get me started on the things i hear!  someone told me....and at this point, i honestly dont' remember who it was, said that there were people that "thought that I was here."  personally...there's no neeed to say anything is there....?  I'm not affecting your rehersal, so there's no need to drang me into it.....yet i still get boched out that i'm not there. 
Here's my question to everyone....  Were they mad that i didn't show up? (because you know that my part it so irreplacible)...mad that i wasn't there to do the understudy role (Because you know anthony is "sick".  so "sick" enough to do other things than practice) or that i wasn't there to play the piano for them (you all know....that i wasn't there to be used again)...take your pick.  i think it was the third one honestly, because i guarintee that Jill or Amanda woul'd get biched out....how do i know....HUMMMM let's think.  Jill hasn't been here all week...and when she told them that she was goin ...there was nor problem.  Amanda left the other day.....again no problem.....i'm not there,....Holy Shit who are we gonna use this time?....Nah you know what ...lets just call rob and make his life shit, the day i spend w/ my grandma after she just got outta the hospital.

another little birdie told me something else..... And here' s the quote from Molnar and Trainor themselves...as least what i was told,  " you need to tell Rob that if he expects anything next year, that he needs to drop the attitude."  well here's what i have to say to that......you don't have to worry about next year....and i don't mean the attitude problem.

so now....in the words of Dave Kirby...So go on, say whatever the fuck you want about me because I don't fucking care anymore!


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