So I'm 20...
So I think I'm ready to start my life now. . . The scary part is, is not know whether or not you'll be there with me.

"Love only gets you down"

This is my Last goodbye

HELLO you wonderful people! I just wanted to let you all know that this is my last entry on livejournal! So, here's the issue at hand..


I've been through a lot that writting in here helpped me get out... BUT it's time to move on.  I'm stepping UP in the world now, and actually joined

I just wanted to provide everyone (if you still use this) my link incase you wanted to keep in touch with my life. I  plan on using my blogger everyday.... so hopefully it might encourage some of you to change over.... it's actually pretty awesome and there's SO much more that can be done... you should check it out...


This journal will be deleted with in the week :-(  BYE BYE

My Life
 So wow... my last post was in July, haha just goes to show how often I use this thing.  So what's been up in my life lately... NOTHING really. 

It's December. . . hum.  Time flies!  Joseph and I just celebrated our 10 month anniversary (my longest and one week away from his longest) and he just met my brother and his girlfriend!  Honestly... I really think I found "the one" , I know that everyone always says that, but really... I don't see myself being with ANYONE else, having children with anyone else, or LIVING without him!  He means everything to me and IS my world.  I love him.

It's weird how people help you grow... even relationships.  I'm going to be COMPLETELY and brutally honest here.  Being with Drew taught me MANY things!  not to settle, make sure you know who  you're dealing with, etc. etc.  Let me clarify that I never settled with Drew, but now he won't leave me the hell alone!  Like the other night... "Get ready"... for what? "Ergi (Drew's boyfriend) and I are coming to pick you up!  HOLD IT 
last time I checked, you didn't even ask me if I 1, wanted to go or 2, if I could go out.  My dad still isn't okay with the gay issue yet, although I'll admit that he's really trying and LIKES Joseph :-) BUT Drew wanted to bring his bf to MY house and introduce him to me IN FRONT of my DAD... HELLLL NOOO! Now, I offered to meet them somewhere else, and Drew was all like "Always making an excuse."  Now here is what I don't get... Ergi's parents don't even know that Ergi is gay, so therefore Ergi's parents don't even know that Drew exists!  SO here was my issue... why does he want to some to my house where he IS NOT WELCOME when his own boyfriend doesn't even admit that Drew is a part of his life. MEH whatever. lol it's kinda funny, but I really wish he'd just . . . idk get smarter... the world is getting tired of holding its breath though ;-)

School is going well.. I'm figuring things out, and I actually know what I'm doing and where I'm heading!  As for this coming semester, I'm SOOO excited that we're doing the musical "once on this Island" if you've never heard, look it up and let me know if you want tickets, they're free and the performances are the last weekend in March and the first weekend in April.  

I think that's about it for now... I hope all is well with everyone, and um yea! That's about it :-) <3 



Well... Summer '08 hasn't been the best of summers, but it's holding it's own!  This summer I definately think that I've grown as a person.  I have a wonderful boyfriend, Joseph, who I'm trying to see as much as possible, but with School and a full time job, it's kinda hard.

Work ~  I work full time this summer at a screening company, where we make T-shirts.  I work on the second shift from 3-11pm Monday-Friday, and I work right in front of an 875 degree dryer! 

School ~ I'm at CCP for summer courses in Biology, and I've actually learned of some other things that I want to do in life.  SHOCKING I know.  I think that I'm just ready to go back to Cabrini.  I really miss the people, and I'm really excited to be and RA this year!

Well that about says it all!  Tomorrow I'm going down to the shore with Joseph and his family again, and it's going to be such an amazing time!  THen next Sunday we're going to se Mamma Mia at the Acedemy

Here's my schedule
      Philosophy 9:40 - 10:55
      Calculus 2  11:05 - 12:20

      Stage Crew  1:00 - 6:00

      Chorus7:15 - 9:15
      Coral   9:15 - 9:45

     Chemistry   9:40 - 10:55
     Calculus 2  11:05 - 12:20
     Biology       12:30 - 1:45

     Stage Crew   1:00 - 6:00

     Play Practice   7:00 - 9:30

     Philosophy   9:40 - 10:55
     Biology Lab 11:05 - 1:20

     Stage Crew 1:00 - 6:00

     Chemistry Lab   6:30 - 9:00

     Chemistry   9:40 - 10:55
     Calculus 2  11:05 - 12:20
     Biology       12:30 - 1:45

     Stage Crew 1:00 - 6:00

     Play Practice   7:15 - 9:30

     (except for stage crew 1:00 - 5:00)

     Play practice 9:30 - 4:00

     Church 9:00 - 10:00

     Play Practice 1:00 - 4:00

     Church 6:00 - 8:00

College Life
Hey everyone.... it's been a while.  I can't believe that it's been over a year since I've used this.  I read everyone else journals, but I just never thought to write, but today is different!  lol

Ok... So college life is better than I could have ever immagined it.  I'm doing great in all my classes and I'm loveing everything about Cabrini's campus.  The people here are amazing and AHHH it's just wonderful.  My roommates are JOE FRO... and this kid Keith<... Keith is really awesome too.  Hahah like me him and Joe have like "fights" lol and we beet each other up... it's just all fun and games.  I finally know what I'm going to do in chemistry, and I'm very excited with that, but that I won't post on here cause I know some people, actually just one person, doesn't  think that I can do that.   Best part about college... NO HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA!   Like ... whenever someone starts drama, I can just walk away... not like before where I was stuck in the middle.  I'm not going to lie though I miss my high school friends sometimes.  Like the only people I ever talk to are Bridget, Lauren, Azz(sometimes), Probe (occationally)... Like what ever happened to like Patrice, Cece, Elise... ya know... the people I hung out with before senior year.  Oh well I guess I can't complain... I haven't made and extreme effort either.

So... I'm not in the college show persay.... I'm the head Lighting technician!  I'm excited for the show... we're doing the Larime Project.  It looks like it will be an okay show.  As for the musical, I'm excited with that as well.   We decided that we should do "Godspell" and on top of that, they made ME the musical director... so basically I'm the Mr. C/ Sister Kate of this place.. 

Relationship wise... I don't wanna talk about it.  It seems good... other than the fact that me and Drew fight like everyday.  And a lot of the time he hurts me with what he says and doesn't realize it.  And when I bring it up... he doesnt appologize.  There are a lot of people here that think I deserve better... I'm just sitting here like a fish out of water cause I don't know what to do.....

Any Suggestions?


So I haven't entered in a while.....and like Bridget said, "I have nothing to complain about"  Lol it's true I haven't.....things are great.   Things are moving along with music, I'm really trying to work hard, just piano alone is overwhelming, but then I think of other people, and the things that they have to do, so I'm really not that big of a deal.  What I've been offered a couple jobs over the past few days, but I can't take them cause I don't have time, and I need to keep on top of my school work.  For the most part, the only class I think that I'm having trouble with is spanish, but yea whatever.  I'm also trying to drop Trig/PreCalc cause i really don't have a teacher.

                       ..........If I wear a mask I can fool the world 
                                       But I cannot fool my heart.........

So yea, there have been somethings that I have been thinking of a lot lately, and I need to make a decision about one of them inparticular, and I just don't know what to say to myself......or other people for that matter.

                      ..........You may think you see who I really am
                                        But you'll never know me..........

There are somethings that I do, that I need to change, and yes Bridget, you mentioned one.  There are other things that i have to change first.

               ..........There's a heart that must be free to fly
                       That burns with a need to know 
                         The reason why 
                      Why must we all conceal
                          What we think
                         How we feel
          Must there be a secret me 
                     I'm forced to hide
                    I won't pretend that I'm 
                            Someone else for all time..........

(no subject)

"She makes you want to drowned yourself in a bottle of water". . . i think that's my new favorite quote

As i was telling my dear friend bridget earlier, I've snapped lol!  Gone crazy here in my own home.  This will be my last journal entry, for it's being deleted.  Something i think that i should have done a long time ago.  My facebook is gone, and i'm seriously contemplating closing my myspace down.  All my memories will soon be gone.  Happy Labor Day everyone

Today is going to be a long day!
It's 5:04 am, and my mom just got off the phone with my grandmother. . . . . my mom'sstep brother died a couple minutes ago.  There was an accident. . . . my Grandfather stil doesn't know yet.  My grandmother's waiting for my mom to get there so they can tell him.  We're al afraid how he'll take it.


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